Questions

We sit down and talk first — a few minutes, or half an hour if it is your first tantra. I ask what you want from it and what is going on with your body. This is where I find out whether a massage is the right thing for you at all, or whether what you actually need is the coaching.

Tantra happens on a mattress on the floor, never on a massage table. There is more room to work around you there, and the session is not the same shape as an ordinary massage.

You wrap a sarong around yourself to begin with. After the talk and a short opening ceremony it comes off, and you lie naked for the rest of the session. I work with warm oil. Breathing is part of it and I guide you through it.

At the end you lie still for a while. Do not schedule anything immediately afterwards.

Shower beforehand. Do not eat a heavy meal in the two hours before.

No alcohol and no drugs on the day. Not beforehand, not "just one to relax". Both dull the exact thing the session is trying to wake up, and I will not work on somebody who arrives under the influence.

If you take any medication, tell me before we book. I am not asking out of nosiness. Some of it changes how I work, and occasionally it changes what I would suggest you book at all.

Beyond that, nothing. You do not need to be flexible, fit, or in any particular state of mind.

In the tantra sessions, all of it. That is not a detail, it is the definition. Energy that stays in one region does not do anything, and a session with areas fenced off is not a tantra session.

If being touched is genuinely difficult for you, say so before you book. There is a lighter version and it works: slower, less, aimed at getting the body to relax enough to be touched at all. It is honest to call that preparation for tantra rather than tantra itself. Most men never need it. It exists, and there is nothing embarrassing about asking.

In the tantra sessions: you start in a sarong, and it comes off after the talk and the opening ceremony. You are naked from there on. There are no towels and nothing is draped over you — the work is on the whole body and it does not happen through fabric.

Almost — and I would rather tell you here than have you work it out in the room.

I start in a sarong and change to a smaller one partway through. That is practical rather than symbolic: I work with quartz crystals during the session, and the smaller sarong is what holds them.

This is a change from how I worked a few years ago, so it is worth being straight about it. I am neither draped in loose clothing nor fully undressed.

No. This one is not negotiable and it is not personal — it is the boundary that lets the session be what it is. If both people are participating, it becomes something else entirely.

Yes. Almost everybody is, including men who have had a hundred ordinary massages.

It usually passes in the first ten minutes. If it does not, say so and we slow down.

Say so and we stop. No explanation needed and no argument from me.

You can also ask me to change what I am doing, use less pressure, skip an area, or simply be quiet. None of that is a problem and none of it offends me.

Yes, and it happens often. It is a body responding to touch, which is what bodies do.

Nothing follows from it. I do not react to it and you do not need to apologise or explain. Men worry about this far more than it deserves.

Yes, if you can manage it. A few days beforehand is good. Longer is better.

The whole session works with sexual energy, and ejaculation spends it. A body that has just spent it has less to work with. This is not a moral rule and nobody is going to interrogate you about it — it is simply the difference between a session that does something and a pleasant two hours.

The same applies afterwards. What the session builds keeps working for a few days if you let it.

And the honest version: if what you actually want is to ejaculate, that is something to do at home or with your partner — not here. Book the Relaxation Massage and enjoy it for what it is. That is not a lesser choice and I am not judging it. It is simply a different thing, and paying tantra prices for it makes no sense.

First, a distinction that matters. Orgasm without ejaculation is what the tantra work is aiming at. That is the whole purpose of the longer sessions. It is not "too early" — it is the thing arriving.

Orgasm with ejaculation is another matter, and in practice it happens almost only with men who ejaculate sooner than they would like generally. If that is you, it is not an embarrassment and it does not end the session. We carry on with what is left, though it will be a quieter version of what it could have been.

But there is a more useful answer, and it is this: book a coaching session first. There are tantric techniques for exactly this and I can explain them sitting down, in an hour, with no massage table involved. Work with them for a few weeks or a few months, then come for the tantra. You will get considerably more out of it — and you will not spend a long session worrying about the very thing you came to stop worrying about.

Some men do. I am not going to promise you will, and anybody who does is selling something.

What I can tell you is that the tantric orgasm is a different thing from the one you know — no ejaculation, no ending, no drop afterwards. It is learnable and it takes practice. Multiorgasmic Tantra is the session built around it, and most men who get somewhere with it have done tantra at least once already.

Yes. There is no age limit — I have worked with men in their eighties. Nothing here is athletic and nothing is asked of your body, and if anything the longer sessions suit older men better, because the whole thing is about noticing rather than performing.

What does make a difference is not age but condition. Tantra works with your breath and your energy, and a body that is tired, run down or not in good shape simply has less to work with. That is not a judgement and it is not permanent. It only means the session gives back less than it could.

If that sounds like you, I would rather say so than take your money for three hours. I would point you at A Body That Works first — my own programme, built around how you eat, how you move, how you sleep and the breathing. It is not a medical programme and I am not treating anything; it is what I do for myself and what I show other men. Build a little there, and the tantra becomes worth having.

I am not going to tell you yes. I do not treat conditions, and anyone promising to fix this is selling you something.

In tantric terms, difficulty here points at something blocked rather than something broken — energy that is not moving the way it could. That is the language the practice uses, not a diagnosis. A good number of men have told me tantra changed things for them. Whether it does for you depends on what is actually behind it.

Often that is not mysterious: a stressful life, poor food, and a body that does not move enough. No massage, mine included, outruns those three.

So if that sounds like your life, I would start you somewhere other than the massage table. A Body That Works — my own programme, covering food, movement and sleep — is the honest place to begin, and the tantric practices for getting energy moving belong there too.

Nothing is expected of your body during a session in any case. There is nothing to perform and nothing to fail at, and for a lot of men that turns out to be the first useful thing about it.

One caveat. If this arrived suddenly, or alongside other changes you cannot account for, find out what is going on before you spend money with me. I am not the person to tell you what that is and I will not pretend otherwise.

Often, yes — though not in the way people expect, and I am not promising you anything.

Boredom is rarely about sensation. It is usually disconnection, or a body that has grown used to one very particular kind of stimulation and stopped registering anything subtler. Tantra works on exactly that: slowing down far enough that ordinary contact lands again.

If the problem turns out to sit off the massage table, a coaching session is the better place to start — and I will tell you so.

Tell me beforehand if you have a heart condition, high or unstable blood pressure, diabetes, a neurological condition, or are recovering from surgery or injury — and tell me what medication you take.

None of these are an automatic no. But breathwork and long sessions do not suit everybody, and I would rather know first. If I think it is not right for you, I will say so and suggest something else.

Sometimes the honest answer is that a Relaxation Massage will serve you better than a tantra session. I would far rather say that before you book than have you spend three hours and leave disappointed.

And sometimes what you tell me opens a different conversation instead. A fair number of the things men come to me about turn out to have less to do with the massage table than with how the rest of the week is going. If that is where it leads, I will say so — and that is what the coaching is for.

Never had tantra: Tantra for Beginners, two and a half hours. Want a massage rather than tantra: Relaxation Massage, from sixty minutes — or XL Man Massage, ninety minutes at the shortest.

A word on length, because it is the thing people most often get wrong. I work long, and not to pad the bill. Gongs, drums, singing bowls, tingsha bells and a didgeridoo come into the session, and sound needs room to do anything. Sixty minutes is a good massage. Ninety is where the instruments have room. Two hours or more is where it becomes something you remember.

If you are not sure what you want, write to me and describe what is going on. I will tell you honestly which one fits — and sometimes the answer is the coaching rather than a massage.

Yes, always. There is no walk-in.

A day or two ahead is usually enough. In high season, give me more. The long sessions are the hardest to fit in at short notice.

The studio is at Av. 8 de Marzo 4, Playa del Inglés. Everything happens there.

I do not work in hotels or apartments. Part of what makes these sessions work is the room they happen in — quiet, warm, set up for it, and nobody knocking on the door. A hotel room is not that, and the long sessions in particular do not survive being moved.

It is a short journey and worth making.

English, German and Spanish, all fluently. Call or write in whichever suits you.

Worth knowing for the tantra sessions in particular: a good part of the session is me explaining things to you, so a shared language matters more here than it would for an ordinary massage. If we have none in common it is not impossible — I have used a translator beforehand to go through the fundamentals — but it is not the best version of the session either. Tell me in advance and we will work out whether it makes sense.

I work alone. In the past I worked alongside other therapists, which made couples and four-hands sessions possible; today everything I offer is one to one.

Two of you can still come on the same day, just not back to back. Tantra takes something out of me, and I need at least three hours between sessions to give the second man the same as the first. Say so when you write and I will find two times that work.

In the tantra sessions it works differently, and on purpose. The conversation at the start is not preamble — it is part of the work, so it sits inside the session time. And every tantra session has it, not only the first one.

There are many tantra traditions in the world, all with their own approaches and techniques. So even if you have had tantra elsewhere, I still explain my own way of working: the breathing, and a few concepts the session depends on. That is around twenty minutes, and less if you have already worked with me.

Tantra for Beginners has the most of it. That is the difference between it and the standard session — not that one has the conversation and the other does not.

And you are not being timed. If a session runs five or ten minutes over, it runs over. Nobody is watching a clock and there is no per-minute charge. I would rather you were relaxed than counting.

Yes. I keep no client list, I use nobody's name, and I do not discuss who comes here.